FML

Sometimes, I really hate my life....and Macon. I got a text about an hour ago saying, "I love you." then one minutes later saying, "Sorry." I didn't know what to make of this, but I promply freaked out. He loved me?? WTF? He goes on and on about not liking me anymore and I get a text like that? No, somethings not right. I deduct that it may have been one of his asshole friends, and I was right. Thank GOD. I so do not need that drama in my life. 

Happy? I talked about you. kthanksbye. 

So I'm at Rowan University this weekend, and I'm loving it. I fit here. So well. Why couldn't I go here? Well, at least I'm semi starting to like MSU, even if I am done in 8 weeks. I have something to come back to, and that makes me happy. 

So we're just chilling out here, not anything too exciting going on. I got my BEDA buddies. [Hi! lol] I feel like I should tell them more about myself....but idk what to say.  Got any questions guys? 

Back to Macon? Back to Macon. Lily asked me what would happen if it was him; if his asshole friend was just conveying his feelings for him. I don't know what I'd do. I don't think he's 100% capable of loving someone right now. You have to love yourself before you can fall in love with someone else, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't. I also think he's afraid to love. That emotion is....really heavy. It takes a lot to love someone and we definately didnt spend enough time together to share those feelings. He's totally capable of loving, I don't doubt that. But loving me? He's too young and too scared. He may think he's feeling love [if he does, idk, i'm not assuming], but it's probably just lust. If he did truly think he loves me, well....I'm not going to say what I'd do or what I'd say. 

On another really random note: What do you do when you start talking to someone you haven't talked to in two years? Kyle and I talked for four hours last night, and truly as friends, but.....idk. I used to have a crush on him but....i'm over that. I don't want that anymore. I don't even know if I want to be friends with him. I'm just.....being and living. 

Three more weeks til Ron comes home. =D  150 days til England. =DDDD

Today is AWESOME because I'm visiting Sarah at Rowan. I heart Sarah. <3

"One day, I'm walking to JFK and I'm gonna FLY...."