The First...

#3 - Brian. 

omg. wow. i can't believe i'm doing this. I've never used his real name before. Well, i'm leaving out his last name, but still. This is new. 

Brian was a jock. Now, he wasn't the first jock i liked and wasn't the last. *sigh* i've never told this story before. at least by what i'm feeling i'm pretty sure i haven't. He's just always been Brian. All of my friends knew what happened, they were there. I never had to re-tell it. And I guess i didn't bother to really tell the story to my new friends after I graduated. 

Brian was in my bio class, nothing unusual. He was one of the six sophomores in my class. Five of us sophomores kinda formed a clique in the class and were always the one group of 5 for Lab days. ALWAYS. And the freshman knew it. The only time we were four was if one of us was absent. 

Anywho, Brian and I got to know each other pretty well with Lab every week and working on in class assignments together, plus we had gym together, so that was a plus. He was great. He was nice and smart and charming and had amazing calves. The only problem was that he was jock and was in the B-list crowd. I was....well, probably on the D-list socially. I was a geek and into class council and not pretty and i didnt drink and just wasn't popular. Now, i was okay with this. I loved class council and my friends and hell, i was uncool before it was cool to be uncool. 

As Brian and I spent more and more time in the classroom together, the more I.....liked him. I had a major crush on him and the other three girls of our group knew it. It made Lab days kinda awkward, but they were really supportive of it. They really wanted me to tell him. 

This crush went on for 8 months. In fact, I'm pretty sure I fell in love with him. We flirted so much in gym and in bio, I was sure he liked me. But I wasn't popular and it wouldn't have worked. It took me two years to get over him. 

Many people have asked how I know I was in love with him, and I can't tell them. Its a feeling you just.....know. I wasn't too fond of dating and having sex back then, but I knew that if I dated him, I could have sex with him. I was that....comfortable around him. I trusted him. I've only been that comfortable with one other person [bonus points if you know who it is]. Though he'll probably never know how I felt, I'm glad he was my first love. He hurt me, but in small ways, not one big breakup. I have really good memories of us in Bio and in Gym.....the ones I can remember. It's been four years. I can't even believe it. 

I really miss Brian. Sometimes I go to his facebook just to make sure he's still alive and such. I cared about him a lot and I never got to know how he felt. I think I may tell him at the 10 year reunion.....that'd be fun. =D

So yay. Happy post today. 

Today is awesome because....uhh....I watched a lot of Arrested Development today. It was fun. hehe.