You all follow me on twitter. You know I talk about "Mavrick." This is my crush. He sucks.
Well...he doesn't. He's cute and funny and...strong. He reminds me a lot of my ex, who I have unfinished business with. This is probably why I like him. Still, I didn't start liking him until we started talking. We're total opposites. He's a republican, I'm a liberal. He's...not into academics, I'm going to try to get a PhD. in creative writing. He's from Long Island, I'm City girl. He loves America, I love England (we have gotten into many fights because of this).
This would never, ever, ever in a bajillion years work.
Except that he's kinda going through a lot of emotional shit. He was away for 11 months in another country. I was away for 9 months. He wasn't studying abroad like I was, but knows that it's a big adjustment to come back. He's going through a lot more than I am, but I just don't think his girlfriend is there for him in a way that I can be.
She's one of those girls who used to pick on me in middle/high school. You can see why I don't like her.
But I don't know the whole story. They've been together for a long time and I don't know if I could have gone through what she did when he left. I respect her completely on that. Props to her.
The thing is, it changes you - seeing the world. I love my #wgcc girls dearly, and I think Laura gets this a little bit, it's just better out there. I loved England. I was finally home. No one picked on me. They praised me. I was like a GOD.
Being back sucks. Every girl looks the same. Every guy looks the same. Everyone is the same. I hate these people. I wish it was just because of where I live, but I don't think it is.
ANYWAYS. THE POINT OF THIS BLOG IS:
He likes me. Or is at least attracted to me. He LOVES teasing me. He's admitted to that. He flirts with me constantly and we've almost kissed and have made many a sexual innuendo. Some of the looks he gives me, it's like, why are you still with her? You clearly need some time to yourself. [orrrr hooking up with me.]
I was looking forward to tonight. We never see each other cause we have different shifts and I was going to get to spend some time with him. So he flirted like he ALWAYS DOES for like two seconds when he wouldn't get noticed and I made a little joke about needing his protection in the parking lot.
But when she's around, he's so....different. He's reserved and quiet. I don't know if it's just because I am there or what, but it's weird. I don't like that Mav.
I've been keeping a lot of stuff in lately and distracting myself with work and school and Figment and I haven't had a lot of time to blog and get this stuff out.
The guy I was sort of seeing who lives in England "broke up" with me two weeks ago and I've barely been able to hold myself together when I think about it. I can't think about it. I get asked about him and I tell them what happened really quick and I change the subject. I haven't felt single since I've been home, but now that I am. I don't like it. I haven't been single in a while. I don't like it.
I'm tired of him flirting with me and then running off to his girlfriend. Pick someone, boy.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Kelly, we need to take you to a spa. You need to be free of all this for a while! Know that I am here anytime you need someone to talk to, and know that I do understand what it's like to feel less at home in the country you live in than you did when you were an ocean away. I've been doing this all day, but: *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteI know you like this guy, Kelly, but I have one important comment to make.
ReplyDelete1. No guy who shamelessly flirts with another girl while he has a girlfriend is a guy you want to date. It's just not cool, no matter how much you don't like his girlfriend nor how miserable he might be in the relationship. That flat out sucks for both of you and her. (I might be a LITTLE more cranky about this than usual because a dear friend of mine's boyfriend is doing this exact thing to her and it pisses me off.)
But with THAT out in the open, you also deserve more than this guy is giving you. Flirting and running back to his girlfriend. Even if something with a guy never goes beyond flirting, you deserve a guy who flirts with you in earnest interest, and that means a guy who is single. Part of the FUN, the sexy behind flirting is the anticipated possibilities, and even when those possibilities go nowhere, it makes you feel special.
But of course, you know I'm always here for you to talk to, open up to, etc. But I hope you realize that, as a friend, I am a very direct and open person. I've never been one for bush-whacking on subjects. (Obviously, from my very first statement in this comment.)
As for the feeling stuck and out of place back here in America, I really can't relate to that. I've never left the country. But Lord knows I want to. I haven't left and I want to get out. There is so much more to this world, than my little southern border. So THAT itch, I do understand. Maybe, in five years time when we are all a little richer, the WGCC should hold our Meet Up abroad. :)
I heart you, Kelly.
I have to second most of what Bai said. It sucks big time, but is something to think about. Cause if he did that while he was dating you, we'd all be pretty pissed :).
ReplyDeleteYou know where to find me, and the rest of us, if you ever want to talk.
I had a somewhat similar experience years ago,
we can always talk about it and how it turned out if you'd like, feel free to ask.